Hello, Fellow Sinners/Believers!

 It's been a while since I've written on my blog.  I had to have open jaw surgery April 2, and recovery was tougher than the arthroscopy done in January.  Also, there was a mixup in my narcotics in November, 2010, and I ended up with oxycodone instead of hydrocodone.  So for the months of April & May 2012 I was basically in a quasi-stupor...so you may have gotten weird messages or phone calls from me during that time.  I live 120 miles roundtrip from Asheville, NC.  One night around 9:15, I thought it was in the morning, and I had to get my car serviced in Asheville.  I drove to there & back that night, and I don't remember hardly anything except the sound of my tires running over the right shoulder bumpy things several times, and I couldn't understand why the sun wasn't up yet.  Scared me to death the next day.  I weaned off the oxy and saw my pain-psychiatrist and she prescribed the hydrocodone.  It's working well for my pain. 

BE CAREFUL OF WHAT MEDS YOU TAKE!!!!!! TAKE THEM ON TIME!!!!!  DON'T SWITCH THEM AROUND, AND IF YOU'RE HAVING SIDE EFFECTS, CALL  YOUR DOCTOR NOW!!!!!

Enough MD stuff.  I'm doing pretty good.  However, those of us with mental illnesses, especially Bi-Polar &/or Borderline, it's a continuous, eternal, up and down life.  What hurts so much is when we have a good day.  Then we have high hopes that the rest of the days will be good...but then they're not.  And we plunge down into our depressive state, and our hope turns to despair.  We may even want to just end the yo-yo of emotions permanently, as it wears us totally out.  We also see our loved ones suffer the wear & tear of our illnesses, and we get so filled with guilt for doing that to them.  This is a hard place to exist.

But...GOOD NEWS!!!! Just take care of yourself...take your emergency crisis meds...watch TV or listen to music...call in sick and stay in bed all day, go to Dairy Queen, or just for a drive.  Go to a thrift store or consignment shop and buy yourself something for $3.00.  Eventually, and that could be a day, a week, a month...however long...one day you'll get up and have energy and the black cloud is gone, and you'll sing, hang pictures, clean the kitchen, rearrange the living room, go back to work.  You're on the other side.  Don't know how long it will last, but take advantage of it.   This is our world...we're standing in the middle of the see-saw, trying to keep both ends even.

You cannot do this on your own.  You need your psychiatrist, your meds, your behavior classes (and if you aren't going to any, find the closest Meridian Behavioral Health Center or something similar, and begin taking their classes...I ORDER YOU TO DO THIS!!!), healthy & positive relationships with people who love you and will come to your aid.  Lastly...you need your faith...most important.  Get your Bible (or go buy one at WalMart) and read the book of John in the New Testament section.  Start watching Joyce Meyer on your TV.  Go to a small Wednesday night worship service - the Baptists almost always have one.  It'll be easier to meet with a small group of people than an entire Sunday worship service. 

Do you have a pet?  Get one from a shelter or animal rescue.  Be sure you can afford vet bills, food, toys, & other miscellaneous pet care.  And then love it as much as you can.  Make sure you take care of it properly...go online or to the library and find out about whatever kind of pet you get.

Go wandering...around a hiking trail, the mall, the local farmers market.  Get the local paper and check out events...lots of them are free.  Another important thing to do is to do something for someone else out of love.  If you do it anonymously it's even more fulfilling! Start gardening...even just potted plants.  It's cheap and will bless you as it grows and blooms.  I'm hooked...started out with African violets in memory of my deceased kitty.  Now I've got a veggie garden, herbs, flowers (ONLY buy PERENNIALS, they come back every year), shrubs, and this fall will embark on planting a bulb garden.  There's just something about digging in the dirt...

Time to go...I'm going to watch a movie on my computer thru NetFlix...$8.53 a month for unlimited streaming!  Such a deal. I care about each one of you.  Let's have a short prayer:

"Father God, thank You for all the good things You've done and given us.  You said You knew us when we were still in our mother's wombs and You already had a plan for our lives.  We don't understand how being mentally ill or brain-damaged can bless us or glorify You, but You promised that You would fulfill the plan you have for us.  Help us to be patient, wait, watch for Your guidance, and even though we suffer, help us to do good for others and love ourselves.  Through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour, Amen."

News...

well....brothers & sisters...it seems i just can't get everything i want to say posting on a blog...so i'm considering writing a book.  there's so much i want to share with you all on ALL my experiences, traumas, tragedies, health issues you've probably never heard of, brain dysfunctions, meds, doctors, tests, etc.  But i also want you to know all the hilarious stuff, the joy and peace stuff, the spiritual battles, won & lost.  Most of all, I want you to know what a mighty God we serve, and what He has promised to do for you, and you, and you...so pray for me, that i'll write what God calls me to write, through Jesus Christ, by the Spirit of Holiness.  Maybe my whole life of violence, fear, pain, disappointments, bad decisions, ill health, tragedies and traumas have finally brought me to the place God planned for me to be.  I accept that.  And I trust Him for remember 2 Thessalonians 1:11..."With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of His calling, and that by His power He may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith.  I'll keep you updated on the book, called "Being a CHRISTian with Mental Illnesses".  Through Christ Jesus blood, Cathy-Ruth

WOW! I've been called to the ministry!

I always knew I was called, but I never answered God because I didn't know if it was really Him and had no idea what the calling was.  And for 25 years was lost, although I thought I was saved.  This week...just this week...in fact last night it all came together.  So...here it is:

Paul said that Peter was called to bring the Good News to the Jews. He said that he himself was called to bring the Good News to the Gentiles. Here is my calling: 

• To bring the Good News to the mentally disabled…to set them free and bring them out of hiding, coming into the Light without their costumes and masks on.
• To BREAK the barriers down of misunderstanding and stereotyping of those suffering with these illnesses.
• To show my mentally disabled brothers and sisters that GOD in His infinite wisdom and power can and does use our disabilities to glorify His name. 
• In Christ, filled with the Spirit of Holiness, we are no longer liabilities to God…we are assets, and are just as much His vessels as the rest of our Christian family.

I know this will be a challenge and thought about Satan's attacks against me, but then I read in Dan Stone's book "The Rest of the Gospel" that I'm just the vessel and the Trinity is the content...it's them that Satan will be taking on.  And guess what...he has already been defeated!!!!!  Next blog will be painful for me, and I need to ready myself to post it.  Love to all of you, whoever you are!

Health Discussion - Fibromyalgia

This condition is a NASTY one for several reasons: you are in constant pain in various parts of your body, sometimes one pain will be more intense in one place (say your left thumb or your right lower abdomen)...it stays a while, moves on, or sometimes stays permanently.  Changes in the barometric pressure affects you.  Any trauma or injury to your body invites the fibromyalgia to move in.  For instance, I fell January 2010 and tore a ligament in my right foot.  Went through x-rays, mri's, wearing a special boot, cortisone shot, etc.  I still have the pain...for how long I don't know.  Fibromyalgia is closely connected to chronic myofascial pain (more about that later) and chronic fatigue syndrome.  So basically you're this always tired, body in pain that sometimes even flares up and feels like cancer pain, worn out person with depression because nobody believes there's anything wrong with you because you don't look sick.  There are medicines and they sometimes help, but they also have side affects.  Do you have this?  Well...go to your rheumatologist and get diagnosed.  Seeing a psychiatrist, especially one who deals with chronic pain patients as well...they will help you more than you know.  LEARN YOUR LIMITATIONS AND DON'T OVERDO!!! FM patients tend to have "bed" days, then when they feel good, they become superman/woman and try to make up for lost time cleaning, working, exercising, etc.  DON'T DO IT!!!  You're just going to end up back in bed.  Beware of all the internet Dr. John's Medicine Show cures...they just want your money.  Chronic pain causes desperation...don't give in...call your mom, your best friend, your pastor, your psychiatrist, and let them know you're in a meltdown.  DON'T WITHDRAW...YOUR INNER SANCTUM IS NOT YOUR FRIEND DURING THIS TIME!!!  Talk to me...let's get through this crappy condition together.  And remember...God says He will accomplish EVERYTHING he has planned for you, pain or no pain.  Sending you FM patients my comfort, love, and encouragement!  Time to go watch Barefoot Contessa!

Several "WOWs"

Good morning all.  I haven't blogged you in a week, and have come up with several "WOWs" for you.  I'm reading the "ians"...Galatians, Ephesians, Philipians, Colossians.  Filled up a bunch of pages during my studies.  I also got some from other sources.  Here they are:

1.  God has NO grandchildren!  You can't be God's child through someone else's faith...YOU have to acknowledge your OWN sins, repent of them to God through Jesus Christ, accept Him as your rescuer or Saviour, and receive in gratitude His gift of grace and salvation to you. (Joyce Meyer)

2.  Write your plans out, then let God have the eraser! (Our Daily Bread) Psalms says basically the same thing - commit your plans to God and let Him take control.  My favorite verse comes from Proverbs..."Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understandings.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

3.  Each day you have the choice of showing up for life...or just existing and waiting to die.  Did you know that many suffering, lonely people who can't bring themselves to commit suicide and end their life, just give up...and count the days until their death.  Brothers & sisters...this is a slow form of suicide.  Realize this and change your choices.  The most important thing you can do each day is to give YOUR pain & suffering to God, and do something loving for someone else each day.  God blesses that so much.

4.  One final WOW...there is a hymn called "Out of My Bondage, Sorrow, & Night" (page 178, Baptist Hymnal).  In one of the verses it says "...out of my sickness, into Thy health...".  Rejoice...you may be sick, given only a short time to live, or your sickness is chronic and you will live with it for the rest of your life, or your mind is ill...the list goes on.  So why rejoice?  Because Jesus is in perfect health, and this is not about you...it's about Him.  All those awful injuries he suffered on this earth  He has been healed of by His father, God.  WOW!  And remember, remember, remember...when you get to be with the heavenly hosts and the Trinity, you will be completely healed.  People don't realize that death is the perfect healing of a sick body.  REJOICE!!!!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Hello Everyone.  I guess my last blog kind of blew you away.  Sorry, but it's the only way to help you understand my brain, my manner of communication, my behaviors online, and whatever else confuses you about me!  So...I like structure, not just rambling on in each blog so I'm going to break my blogs into sections.  Here goes...

• What happened this week & what did I learn from it
• A Bible or hymn "WOW".   I strongly recommend that you have a Bible...I use the New Living Translation, but have several other translations.  The reason is that I'm going to sometimes tell you to go read certain verses so you can understand the "WOW" that I saw in them.
• One of my health issues...an explanation in laymen's terms and how it affects me
• A life experience that I feel might help one of you
• Something funny

I believe in practical CHRISTianity...so what I share with you will be something you can use in your walk towards God.

Tonight, I leave you with God's promise to accomplish everything He has planned for you.  Accomplish...doesn't mean it happens overnight...it might take days, years, who knows but God?  Look in your thesaurus...accomplish means to perfect or complete.  So hang in there, trust in Him, He is mysterious in some ways, but if you have been rescued from eternal condemnation through His Son, Jesus Christ, you are truly under His wings...like a momma hen gathers her chicks under her wings to protect and keep them.  Amen?

Search For Truth: Sunday, January 30, 2010

Search For Truth: Sunday, January 30, 2010: "Hi everybody. It's been a rough week for me, and, in order for me to tell you why, I have to share some of my health issues with y..."