News...

well....brothers & sisters...it seems i just can't get everything i want to say posting on a blog...so i'm considering writing a book.  there's so much i want to share with you all on ALL my experiences, traumas, tragedies, health issues you've probably never heard of, brain dysfunctions, meds, doctors, tests, etc.  But i also want you to know all the hilarious stuff, the joy and peace stuff, the spiritual battles, won & lost.  Most of all, I want you to know what a mighty God we serve, and what He has promised to do for you, and you, and you...so pray for me, that i'll write what God calls me to write, through Jesus Christ, by the Spirit of Holiness.  Maybe my whole life of violence, fear, pain, disappointments, bad decisions, ill health, tragedies and traumas have finally brought me to the place God planned for me to be.  I accept that.  And I trust Him for remember 2 Thessalonians 1:11..."With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of His calling, and that by His power He may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith.  I'll keep you updated on the book, called "Being a CHRISTian with Mental Illnesses".  Through Christ Jesus blood, Cathy-Ruth

WOW! I've been called to the ministry!

I always knew I was called, but I never answered God because I didn't know if it was really Him and had no idea what the calling was.  And for 25 years was lost, although I thought I was saved.  This week...just this week...in fact last night it all came together.  So...here it is:

Paul said that Peter was called to bring the Good News to the Jews. He said that he himself was called to bring the Good News to the Gentiles. Here is my calling: 

• To bring the Good News to the mentally disabled…to set them free and bring them out of hiding, coming into the Light without their costumes and masks on.
• To BREAK the barriers down of misunderstanding and stereotyping of those suffering with these illnesses.
• To show my mentally disabled brothers and sisters that GOD in His infinite wisdom and power can and does use our disabilities to glorify His name. 
• In Christ, filled with the Spirit of Holiness, we are no longer liabilities to God…we are assets, and are just as much His vessels as the rest of our Christian family.

I know this will be a challenge and thought about Satan's attacks against me, but then I read in Dan Stone's book "The Rest of the Gospel" that I'm just the vessel and the Trinity is the content...it's them that Satan will be taking on.  And guess what...he has already been defeated!!!!!  Next blog will be painful for me, and I need to ready myself to post it.  Love to all of you, whoever you are!

Health Discussion - Fibromyalgia

This condition is a NASTY one for several reasons: you are in constant pain in various parts of your body, sometimes one pain will be more intense in one place (say your left thumb or your right lower abdomen)...it stays a while, moves on, or sometimes stays permanently.  Changes in the barometric pressure affects you.  Any trauma or injury to your body invites the fibromyalgia to move in.  For instance, I fell January 2010 and tore a ligament in my right foot.  Went through x-rays, mri's, wearing a special boot, cortisone shot, etc.  I still have the pain...for how long I don't know.  Fibromyalgia is closely connected to chronic myofascial pain (more about that later) and chronic fatigue syndrome.  So basically you're this always tired, body in pain that sometimes even flares up and feels like cancer pain, worn out person with depression because nobody believes there's anything wrong with you because you don't look sick.  There are medicines and they sometimes help, but they also have side affects.  Do you have this?  Well...go to your rheumatologist and get diagnosed.  Seeing a psychiatrist, especially one who deals with chronic pain patients as well...they will help you more than you know.  LEARN YOUR LIMITATIONS AND DON'T OVERDO!!! FM patients tend to have "bed" days, then when they feel good, they become superman/woman and try to make up for lost time cleaning, working, exercising, etc.  DON'T DO IT!!!  You're just going to end up back in bed.  Beware of all the internet Dr. John's Medicine Show cures...they just want your money.  Chronic pain causes desperation...don't give in...call your mom, your best friend, your pastor, your psychiatrist, and let them know you're in a meltdown.  DON'T WITHDRAW...YOUR INNER SANCTUM IS NOT YOUR FRIEND DURING THIS TIME!!!  Talk to me...let's get through this crappy condition together.  And remember...God says He will accomplish EVERYTHING he has planned for you, pain or no pain.  Sending you FM patients my comfort, love, and encouragement!  Time to go watch Barefoot Contessa!

Several "WOWs"

Good morning all.  I haven't blogged you in a week, and have come up with several "WOWs" for you.  I'm reading the "ians"...Galatians, Ephesians, Philipians, Colossians.  Filled up a bunch of pages during my studies.  I also got some from other sources.  Here they are:

1.  God has NO grandchildren!  You can't be God's child through someone else's faith...YOU have to acknowledge your OWN sins, repent of them to God through Jesus Christ, accept Him as your rescuer or Saviour, and receive in gratitude His gift of grace and salvation to you. (Joyce Meyer)

2.  Write your plans out, then let God have the eraser! (Our Daily Bread) Psalms says basically the same thing - commit your plans to God and let Him take control.  My favorite verse comes from Proverbs..."Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understandings.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

3.  Each day you have the choice of showing up for life...or just existing and waiting to die.  Did you know that many suffering, lonely people who can't bring themselves to commit suicide and end their life, just give up...and count the days until their death.  Brothers & sisters...this is a slow form of suicide.  Realize this and change your choices.  The most important thing you can do each day is to give YOUR pain & suffering to God, and do something loving for someone else each day.  God blesses that so much.

4.  One final WOW...there is a hymn called "Out of My Bondage, Sorrow, & Night" (page 178, Baptist Hymnal).  In one of the verses it says "...out of my sickness, into Thy health...".  Rejoice...you may be sick, given only a short time to live, or your sickness is chronic and you will live with it for the rest of your life, or your mind is ill...the list goes on.  So why rejoice?  Because Jesus is in perfect health, and this is not about you...it's about Him.  All those awful injuries he suffered on this earth  He has been healed of by His father, God.  WOW!  And remember, remember, remember...when you get to be with the heavenly hosts and the Trinity, you will be completely healed.  People don't realize that death is the perfect healing of a sick body.  REJOICE!!!!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Hello Everyone.  I guess my last blog kind of blew you away.  Sorry, but it's the only way to help you understand my brain, my manner of communication, my behaviors online, and whatever else confuses you about me!  So...I like structure, not just rambling on in each blog so I'm going to break my blogs into sections.  Here goes...

• What happened this week & what did I learn from it
• A Bible or hymn "WOW".   I strongly recommend that you have a Bible...I use the New Living Translation, but have several other translations.  The reason is that I'm going to sometimes tell you to go read certain verses so you can understand the "WOW" that I saw in them.
• One of my health issues...an explanation in laymen's terms and how it affects me
• A life experience that I feel might help one of you
• Something funny

I believe in practical CHRISTianity...so what I share with you will be something you can use in your walk towards God.

Tonight, I leave you with God's promise to accomplish everything He has planned for you.  Accomplish...doesn't mean it happens overnight...it might take days, years, who knows but God?  Look in your thesaurus...accomplish means to perfect or complete.  So hang in there, trust in Him, He is mysterious in some ways, but if you have been rescued from eternal condemnation through His Son, Jesus Christ, you are truly under His wings...like a momma hen gathers her chicks under her wings to protect and keep them.  Amen?

Search For Truth: Sunday, January 30, 2010

Search For Truth: Sunday, January 30, 2010: "Hi everybody. It's been a rough week for me, and, in order for me to tell you why, I have to share some of my health issues with y..."

Search For Truth: Blog #1A: Oops!

Search For Truth: Blog #1A: Oops!: "I forgot to tell you that you will notice I write the words CHRISTian and CHRISTmas with CHRIST in caps. That's my personal ..."

Search For Truth: Blog #1: About Me

Search For Truth: Blog #1: About Me: "Thank you for coming to visit. I hope & pray that whatever you read here, no matter if it's the whole blog, a portion, or a word, ..."

Sunday, January 30, 2010

Hi everybody. It's been a rough week for me, and, in order for me to tell you why, I have to share some of my health issues with you.  Now...I know that probably ALL of you have SOMETHING wrong...we all have our own stories.  But for you to understand the rest of my blogs you need to the following about me:  I have both mental and physical illnesses and disorders.  The physical ones mean that I am in pain every moment of my life.  The pain comes from different sources, and in future blogs I plan to take each one of them and discuss them, especially how they affect me.  I take A LOT of meds for my physical issues.

The mental issues cause a different kind of pain...deep within my soul and heart, and I will have them the rest of my life.  You have the choice of not reading my blogs now because you consider me a "crazy woman", or...you can choose to keep reading and learn how to acknowledge your own mental illnesses or someone you know and/or love, work with, go to church with...the list goes on...and how someone with mental illness(es) deal with their spiritual lives.  That includes me...and I know I want to share my life experiences with you.

I am a Bi-Polar Bear, have ADD, and Borderline Personality Disorder.  I suffer from General Anxiety and panic attacks.  I take A LOT of meds, each which has side effects all working at the same time inside me and my brain!  It takes a long time to get your meds working together so you can be as even as "normal" people.  It wears you out...sometimes you just want to throw them all out the door...and sometimes you want to line them up, take them all, and end the pain and suffering once and for all.  I've been both places...I'm still here.  I couldn't end my life because I felt that God would send me to hell for murdering myself.  But let me tell you...I prayed several times asking God to just stop my breathing, or give me a terminal illness so I could die a "respectable" death, and my family could grieve without shame.

Sound familiar?  Tell me, tell me.  I want us to be as honest as possible...as healing begins with acknowledgement of the problem.  Now listen to me...this blog will NOT be all doom & gloom.  Nor will it be nothing but sermons.  There will be fun and laughter, goofiness and silliness.  I have learned that both laughter AND tears bring healing, whether you're in pain forever, or just temporarily shipwrecked.  Stay with me...I'm thinking about you all. 

Blog #1A: Oops!

I forgot to tell you that you will notice I write the words CHRISTian and CHRISTmas with CHRIST in caps.  That's my personal choice, since that part of these words is what it's really all about.

Blog #1: About Me

Thank you for coming to visit.  I hope & pray that whatever you read here, no matter if it's the whole blog, a portion, or a word, that it will encourage, inspire, exhort, teach, or bring you comfort.

Let me tell you about my spiritual walk in the short version.  I was raised in a quasi-CHRISTian home that was also very dysfunctional.  I was baptized at the age of 9, and lived the next 25 years as a VERY good Pharisee (let me know if you don't know what this means).  Also in that 25 years the following events occurred when I became an adult: I was married to husband #1, my high school sweetheart, had 3 daughters, left husband & children, met and married husband #2 who was killed in a military air crash 10 months after our wedding, met & married husband #3, a Baptist minister, got my daughters back after 5 years, & divorced him.

Husband #3 led me to real salvation, and the words in red in my Bible began to make sense.  Hence, my spiritual search really began at age 34.  Before then, I kept searching for that "something" that was missing in my life, even though I thought I was a CHRISTian.  I've traveled down a very long, painful, arduous road to get where I am today.  I'll share more later...it doesn't end yet.

Let me leave you today with what I learned this week...don't confuse God with Life!  They are very different.  And...whoever you are...I look forward to hearing from you and we'll learn about this God together!